“If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known” is a quote by Tim Kreider, in his 2013 New York Times opinion piece, that’s been floating around the internet since.
Unfortunately, he has a point.
Welcome back to the RoundUp! A series where I scour the internet for answers to common questions that tend to plague creatives and present my findings here.
Today’s question is less of a self-reflection and more of a threat to the introverts out there (just kidding, game recognises game), but it does sit differently for half of the population out there. Speaking as a once very shy child, the idea of putting myself out there was an insane prospect and speaking as a slightly less shy adult, I have to say, they had a point.
Regardless, let’s dive into the question:
Is the Fear of Being Seen Holding You Back?
Short Answer: Yes
“Who is the judge in your head?”
This question is posed by Jen Carmiel, a watercolour artist based in Colombia, whose portfolio showcases idyllic, heart-warming frames of cats, coffee and the small joys of life. As an art school graduate and a full time artist, Jen has achieved what beginner artists have dreamed about. In her video “How I Got Over the Fear of Being Seen (An Artist Perspective)” she asks the question:
“Who is the judge in your head?”
Is it a grade three bully? Is it a colleague from a past job? An unsaid but somehow very loud social presumption that takes the form of someone in your childhood town? Someone’s voice in your life has weaseled their way into the folds of your brain (yes, that’s the scientific term) set up shop and sometime between the sprouting of an idea and the execution of it, you’ve determined that their voice has more merit than your own.
Carmiel offers a solution to this, saying “what you have to come back to is why are you doing this?”
Most of the time, it isn’t because we want attention. Yes, we want our art to garner attention and maybe sales, but that’s a side effect of making something you’re proud of. Assuming that the world will have the same instinct to be negative towards your work is narrow-minded. Especially when the truth is:
Your art is not for everyone.
Kayla Carlile is an Australian artist, specialising in realism and portraiture. Her ethereal underwater paintings evoke feelings of calmness and femininity. Starting by selling her artwork at Saturday markets, Carlile has grown her platform to become a full time artist, working on murals, art classes and growing her youtube channel, already at 141K subscribers. In her video entitled Your fear of being perceived is holding you back. Carlile states that “if people don’t like (your art) then you have succeeded because you’ve actually done something of substance in the world”, she reiterates that “as a creative, art is supposed to make people feel things”.
“Things” unspecified. Walking around a gallery, people will be drawn to different art pieces. I prefer Monet over Van Gogh. A Van Gogh over a Picasso. A Gentileschi over Monet.
The point is, Carlile is right on the money when she states “if my paintings angers someone but it makes someone else feel seen then I think I did my job as an artist”
***
My own answer:
I think one of the most difficult parts about being known is introducing ourselves. As a creative, no one wants to show up to an online space being an amateur, or sub- par to everyone else. We assume that we must work on ourselves until our work is polished and shiny and anything less than immaculate must be sent back to the drawing board instantly.
But why do we think that if we make an impression as a beginner, that people won’t accept us as a practised artist later on?
The truth is that the best writers, singers, dancers etc, all started out as people terrible at their craft (except maybe Meryl Streep, she can just do that), who toiled and thought and kept coming back to their workspace with genuine love and interest, until they got big enough to catch our attention.
Sometimes we assume that our work is too unoriginal, too similar to another work and - barring actual plagiarism, (don’t do that, obviously), therefore shouldn’t exist. But what’s better than one well written action adventure book series with great characters and a brilliant plot? TWO well written action adventure book series with great characters and a brilliant plot.
There will never be another Billie Eilish, or The Last Airbender, or Jumanji.
Scratch that last one.
The point is, no one can truly be you except you and the world should not be deprived of your creativity because of your fear of what might happen.
And anyways, it’s all for fun. : )
***
Thanks for reading! It’s nice to meet you! Let us know if you like this type of content or if there’s anything else you’d like to hear from us.
You can find the creatives that were mentioned in this article down below, if there’s any topics or people you’d like to see me cover, let me know in the comments. (And if you’d like to be featured, let us know too!).
Thanks again for reading and remember - be kind to yourself!
Catch you later,
Kaye
Make sure to check out the artists mentioned:
Jen Carmiel:
Website:
https://jencarmiel.com/?srsltid=AfmBOoqZ-03pH6qt-vH0PKOumEkyZfdNu3KvjPCKsk3Gke6P5MmV5YUy
Kayla Carlile
Website:
https://www.kaylacarlile.art/
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